Be Your Own Therapist Course
It’s not easy to change
You might even be feeling that right now. We are drawn to the familiar, the status quo. Our body naturally seeks homeostasis ~ an innate movement towards equilibrium and away from change. It’s literally wired into our physiology.
But it is possible
We can change our beliefs, coping mechanisms, defence-mechanisms, choices, responses; the actions we take. We can even shift our identity. We can change our life.
Big changes come about through consistent small steps
For long-lasting change to occur, we have to experience what we want to develop. This is how we change the neural function in our brains; by turning passing states into more embedded traits.
We begin with making sense of our personal history, in such a way as to weave a compassionate and cohesive story of ourselves. Understanding what holds us back from a more meaningful life, and developing the skills to soothe uncomfortable feelings and cultivate positive ones.
And, by walking in alignment with our values, we take courageous steps forward to change our habits, be kinder to ourselves, reach our goals, and grow our relationships.
Listen to the introduction for free!
A journey from awareness to change.
From not just having awareness,
but to actual change too
12
Experiential exercises harnessing the power of visualisation, mindfulness, neuroplasticity, and somatic experiencing
8
Compassionate lessons teaching knowledge and tools, so that you feel equipped to navigate your life – whatever the experience may be
5
Hours of audio blending psychological theory, embodied practices, and humour to help you be your very own therapist
1
Interactive PDF & flipbook; no printing necessary. View the course online, or type and save your answers directly into the workbook
This is a journey
Think of this course as if it were a journey.
Where we first look back to go forward.
Gathering awareness of where we came from. Our shared human history, and our unique present-day stories told with compassion.
And then inwards as we seek to become more intimate with our inner world.
Through our bodies we bring attention to stability, soothing, and creating spacious awareness to breathe in the new.
As we search for new perspectives we explore our values and orientate our direction of travel.
Moving with flexibility and authority, we invite the different parts of us along for the ride.
Fuelling-up for the journey on the power of positive emotions, following the path of who we truly are.
And this is your path. With no destination, but rather a journey over the undulating hills of life. Glorious views, and new vistas, alongside the more mundane moments, with plenty of inclement weather to ensure you keep your focus on what lies ahead.
Enjoy the journey.
Eight steps to change
The Story of You and Me
Your Unique Story
Soothing Our Way to Safety
Finding Flow Through Our Values
Flexing the Muscle of Intention
Befriending Our Parts
The Power of Positive Emotions
Building Habits
The skills you will learn to help you be your very own therapist
Self-compassion
Cultivate a more compassionate feeling towards yourself and your experience
Rewrite the story of your life and lay the bedrock for change
Compassionate inquiry
Regulate your nervous system
Find safety and soothing through your mind and body by regulating your nervous system
Surf your urges
Take authority of your cravings and procrastination by learning to surf your urges
Identify what matters to you
Discover your five most important values to create direction, purpose and meaning
Grow a supportive inner voice
Transform, and bring to life, your inner world of negative self-talk using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach
Practice happiness
Boost feel-good neurotransmitters through the cultivating and savouring of positive emotions
Build habits
Rewire the brain by building sustainable identity-based habits aligned with your values
A journey from awareness to change.
This course is for everyone
Although individual treatment for conditions such as anxiety, depression, and OCD might look different, when you dive beneath the surface you’ll find change is built on the same fundamental building blocks taught in this course.
Some reasons you might choose this course
I need help with anxiety; to soothe myself when feeling anxious
I need help with depression; to lift my mood when feeling down
I want to better understand my OCD, to manage the compulsions and underlying fears
I struggle with communication and vulnerability within my relationships
I’m looking for a trauma-informed approach to help me feel safe
Procrastination is holding me back, I want to work on my focus and attention
I want to learn how to regulate my emotions, to feel some control and flexibility over how I respond to life and uncertainty
I want to build my confidence, self-worth, and begin taking courageous steps forward in life
I want to improve my wellbeing, discover more about myself and feel equipped for life’s journey
I cannot afford or are unable to access therapy
I’m looking for some additional support to complement my current therapy experience
Learn more about the eight lessons
taught on this course
The story of you and me
The Story of you and me is the story of our shared humanity. It's about all the things as humans we have in common.
In this lesson we’ll learn how millions of years have shaped our shared core needs of safety, satisfaction and connection. How we are a living, breathing, culmination of the psychology of our mind, the biology of our body, and the society with which we belong to. And how deep down, we all just want to be loved.
To know this story, is to understand why life can feel such a struggle at times. And by bringing compassion to this inner complexity, we set the groundwork for change.
Your unique story
Nestled within the story of you and me, is your unique tale of how you came to be the person you are today. An awareness of who you are is fundamental in supporting more conscious choices in your life.
In this lesson we’ll start to explore and map out your life. From your younger years, family dynamics, adverse events and achievements, all the way through to the present-day you.Taking a deep interest in how you came to be the person you are.
To deeply understand, with an open heart, how your past has shaped you, nourishes the opportunity for self-compassion. Through compassionate inquiry, we’ll write a story of your life that lays the bedrock for change.
Soothing our way to safety
The search for safety, one of our three core needs, can dictate the direction of our life.
Learning how to regulate our nervous system is essential if we are to also live a life of satisfaction and connection. All of us at some point will have experienced the urge to fight, take flight, freeze, or fawn when feeling emotionally or physically unsafe. Sometimes this is essential, but often our responses to feeling threatened lead us away from a rich and meaningful life.
In this lesson we’ll practice two different ways, using the mind and body, to cultivate a feeling of safety.
Flexing the muscle of intention
If we are not being pulled by our search for safety, we can often be seeking satisfaction and connection. But sometimes those cravings can take us down the unwanted - yet familiar - pathways.
All those little moments of resistance, where we turn away from what we are intending to do, in search of something more comfortable or pleasurable.
In this lesson we’ll practice the skill of being intentional. Two different tools will help you find a moment of agency, encouraging a movement beyond sticky feelings of procrastination and inertia. And a chance to put the reigns on cravings and urges; a step towards your goals, rather than away from them.
Finding flow through our values
Values are process oriented qualities and behaviours.
They give direction, purpose and meaning, by guiding you in who - and how - you want to be in the world.
Having a sense of direction, underpinned by a set of values you are familiar with, can bring a sense of ease, empowerment and stability as you flow through the unpredictability of life.
In this lesson you’ll get the chance to identify your top five values. And discover how being able to act *consistently in alignment - with what feels like a true sense of ourselves - is the key to a meaningful life.
*And how hard that can be!
Befriending our parts
(the usual suspects)
As we drop below the surface stories we tell ourselves, there is a much deeper level of self-awareness available to us.
You might already have a sense of how fragmented your mind can feel at times, as if there are competing parts of your personality, pulling you this way and that. The perpetual punishing, guilty, and perfectionist chatter.
In this lesson I’ll show you how to begin identifying the different parts of your inner experience. Our goal here is to befriend these parts, get to know them. And rather than feeling governed by these parts, we begin to assert our own inner authority to lead.
The power of positive emotions
Thanks to the default negative bias in our brains (yes, we all have it, to one degree or another), we can often get fixated on negative thoughts, feelings and experiences. It’s easy to pass over the good stuff in life, when we our wellbeing actually requires a greater ratio of positive experiences to negative ones. Damn you evolution!
In this lesson we’ll explore how your life may benefit from engaging with qualities such as joy, gratitude, compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. We’ll learn two practices in which we’ll intentionally cultivate positive emotional states.
Happiness is a skill, it has to be practiced.
Building habits
repetition repetition repetition
We have evolved to make the most efficient use of our available energy. To automate our thoughts and motivations, through seeking out patterns and focusing on short-term goals. Our mind does this through developing habits, routines, rituals, biases and beliefs.
For change to stick, we need to unpick and rewire our (sometimes unhelpful) automatic habitual ways of thinking and behaving.
In this lesson we’ll look at the fundamentals of habit building. Understanding how habits are formed through consistent, persistent, small steps, which can lead to big changes. At the end of this course we’ll make a commitment to three new habits you wish to create.
Want even more detail on what you’ll learn?
Click on the title below to discover the learning goals and experiential aspects of each lesson.
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Learning goals:
The shared human experience; what shapes us and the interdependence of our three core needs
How to begin cultivating a more compassionate feeling towards yourself and your experience
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
A brief check-in by rating different aspects of life out-of-ten
Mirror gazing self-compassion exercise
Cultivate the feeling of generosity by 'seeing' others
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Learning goals:
Take an interest in your own personal story
How to develop an accepting relationship towards the complexity of your life through compassionate inquiry
Tell a coherent and compassionate story of your life
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
Experiential practice of 'being interested'
Create a timeline of your life
Compassionate letter writing exercise
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Learning goals:
Understand the role of the nervous system, and stress response, in relation to feeling safe
How to experience safety and soothing in the mind and body
Practice skills to help regulate your nervous system
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
Butterfly Tapping technique – bilateral stimulation to stimulate vagal nerve
Safe Place Meditation - visualise and embody a feeling of safety
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Learning goals:
Understand the psychology of cravings, urges, and procrastination
How to take intentional action when experiencing feelings of resistance
How to cultivate agency and manage urges and cravings in the mind and body
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
54321 technique to shift out of inertia
Urge surfing technique for being with cravings and impulses
Homework: journal prompts to work with triggers, urges, cravings and impulses
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Learning goals:
Understand the meaning of values and their importance
Identify your most important values and how present they are in your life
Exercises, skills and tools:
Answer reflective questions to stimulate values enquiry
Card sorting exercise to identity five most important values
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Learning goals:
Understand what is meant by ‘parts’ using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach
How to use the IFS approach using the 6Fs tool
How to identify a fully fleshed out part
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
Connect with a part through IFS experiential meditation
Make notes on a fully fleshed out part
Homework: practice noticing when a part has been activated
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Learning goals:
Understand the evolution of the brain’s negativity bias
Understand the biology, evolutionary adaptation, and benefit of positive emotions
How to cultivate and savour a positive emotion
Explore further suggestions for cultivating positive emotion
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
HEAL method – visualise, enrich and absorb a positive experience, and harness memory reconsolidation
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Learning goals:
Understand the psychological and physiological process of change
Understand the science of habits and importance of choosing our identity
How to create identity-based habits
How to support the building and sustaining of identity-based habits
Exercises, tasks, skills and tools:
A process for creating identity-based habits
Three identity-based habits
One more thing..
We were nurtured into this world through connection, it is hugely important for our wellbeing. The right presence from another can be healing, literally. Our nervous system responds to the words, a gaze, the touch of another.
Therefore this course is not supposed to be a replacement for therapy. But I hope it provides a framework, for you to create those building blocks of change and feel accompanied on your path.
My goal is to provide you with a map, one you can always return to. A map you can explore in your own independent way.
A journey from awareness to change.